aphrikanyc

New Blog!

2008-12-31T18:43:00.000-05:00

here is my new home:

http://www.africannewyorkerintoronto.blogspot.com/

horoscope...

2008-06-25T18:20:00.000-04:00

LEO [July 23–August 22]: As I suspect you've guessed by now, Leo, there's one potential accomplishment that's more important than all the others—if you can pull it off, it'll change your life forever. I'm talking about the acceptance of full and complete responsibility for your own happiness. How? By studying in exquisite detail all the things you need to feel great, and then taking bold and aggressive steps to make sure they happen consistently.

Why I'm leaving my job...

2008-06-24T06:51:00.002-04:00

Beginning June 27th, I will no longer be a teacher.

Why am I leaving my job???

Because...

-the money is wack. How will I ever be able to afford that UWS penthouse on my salary?

-I feel drained emotionally & physically at the end of the day. Frankly it'd be less tiring to run a marathon every day than continue doing this job.

-I feel like I haven't been able to find my rythm in the past four years. I don't feel like I'm fully me when I teach. I feel like the Catholic School girl version of me.

-Why teach people who have zero appreciation for education & who can't multiply in the 8th Grade??

-I have been trying my best, but I don't feel like it's my 200% and honestly I don't want to give anyone anything less than that be it at a job or in a friendship. I only want to give the very best of me.

-I'm going through quarter life crisis.

WHAT WILL YOU DO NOW????

Live, live, live!!!

My weeks will include cycling, running, yoga, dancing, swimming, drawing, theatre, working on business ventures. Sleeping. Loving me. Loving life. Passion.

I'm moving on August 1st! As in out of the country. Hopefully not forever because I love NYC...More on that soon...

So close and yet so far...

2008-05-22T04:01:00.004-04:00

34 days until the end of the school year and my job ends.

I am working so hard to have faith but to be honest I'm bored to death with my job & at the same time working hard at work and there are so many stressful things at work.

Anyhow, 3 weeks ago I gave my notice at work:) Last week I showed a video of my trip home. My boss has tried on many occassions to get me to stay. No such luck. What lies ahead you ask..I'll keep you posted! In my next post I want to talk more about why I'm leaving my job...

Back from my motherland!

2008-05-04T03:39:00.002-04:00

So a month later, I finally get back to the world of blogging:)

My trip home was fabulous. It's good to know I have a place to call home across the oceans, & people that care about me.

My life is undergoing a huge overhaul right now.

I'm barely hanging on and gasping for breath, but I see glimpses of light...

I will post more later. Now to update my other blog...

You make me feel so brand new...

2008-04-05T07:21:00.002-04:00

I know the worst is not over yet.

But...

I'm taking today to clean my room & plan the week ahead because I know I'll be super busy until I leave...

My plane ticket arrived:):)

I'm barely holding on, but I guess that counts.

I met a cute boy who lives in my apt building...I don't know anything about him yet except that he's a teacher too...

What else is new?
I'm having a brunch party next week & I'm excited to see my friends:):)

Will I make it through the next month??

2008-03-22T22:01:00.002-04:00

I was thinking if I learn to eat little over the next month, then my trip home won't be so traumatic after all. I'll be used to being a starving african after all.

No offense.

I'm barely hanging on. I see light, but it's too far away to make me happy for now.

holding onto nothing...

2008-03-16T15:09:00.002-04:00

I am trying to rejuvenate the parts of me that have died. The only thing I'm excited for is the triathlon. Other than that, I hate my job. The dream of a new career also makes me happy. I'd like to get into fitness & nutritional counseling, as well as real estate. Tired of my mediocre salary that can't pay my bills.

At the same time I'm grateful for the opportunity to jump into fitness & health. The human body is such a blessing.

I'm starting my journey with yoga today. It's quite an exciting journey for me because I know nothing but I've been curious for a while. I need more meditation in my life in order to get through this year. I would love to stay in New York City, but I don't know how to make that possible. All I can do is try my best & beyond that, there isn't much else that can be done.

Work still sucks, but I see a little bit of light. I only have 3 teaching days this week- Monday, Tuesday & Thursday. On Wednesday, we have a read-a-thon so the students & staff come to school with Pajamas on & we read for 3 hours, then the students go home. The staff has to stay until 8pm for teacher conferences though:( Regardless, it's a different kind of day. Thursday the students leave at 2pm, & Friday is a no work day because of Easter. I can picture myself getting through this work week. The following week is normal until the 27th when I have to work till late-until the 4th. I'm not looking forward to the longer work day, but it must be done.

I'm quite blessed & have the support of many amazing people as I try to plan this trip home. Thank you.

The good & bad...

2008-03-10T06:33:00.003-04:00

I hate my job immensely most of the time.

I need 30 hours in a day in order to accomplish the things I need to do for my personal life, & my job does get in the way of that.

Otherwise, nothing much is new in my world of singledom. I'm successfully weaning myself off of most men & crushes. Lately I'm only attracted to a certain kind of man so that makes it easy. I never knew it, but I have a type. It's kind of funny because it's the same type I had in middle school! I am ridiculous.

There is so much uncertainty in my life.

Today I feel calm. Thankfully.

The students are taking the state test Monday & Tuesday this week. Wednesday I have a meeting with A.d.o.b.e so I won't be at work. So my full days are Thurs & Friday this week:):) And next week is a 4 day work week because of Easter! Maybe I'll make it after all.

post June indecision...

2008-03-05T05:58:00.002-05:00

I'm trying to figure out what the best course of action is for me after this school year...The problem is that I love my schoool, but my life in this country seems to be so cyclical & restricted. Without my green card, everything is a mess & difficult to do. I have dreams & I feel like I'll die if I have to defer them for a few more years.

Lately I'm trying to get some digital art project off the ground with my students. I'd also like to get into digital art myself simply because it makes me so happy. Yesterday a coworker invited me to showcase a video I made to his students. I was so proud & happy & even happier that I could help the students with their art projects...:):)

A friend helped me set up my sewing machine this weekend so that's a good jumpstart. Otherwise, nothing much is up. I can officially & honestly say that I don't like anyone right now. And that's a good thing.

Back from Vancouver!

2008-02-27T21:58:00.002-05:00

My time there was BEAUTIFUL. Leaving was a tearful experience. I met so many wonderful people & I look forward to returning there in the near future- maybe the summer, but definitely next winter break to go skiing at the Whistler resort.

Otherwise, it's back to work. Work is full of negative energy lately, but I guess it could be worse. What else. I'm broke & basically need to starve in order to afford my flight home at the end of April. It's an intense two months for me. Hell the past two months have been intense & painful & all about survival mode. I haven't excercised in two weeks, but I'll start again on Saturday.

Otherwise, same ole. Single as ever & really not interested in anyone right now. No time. Also don't want to deal with anyone's negative energy...

I'll make it no matter what. More fun posts once I settle back in:) Hope you're all well!

Hiatus from dating...

2008-02-10T22:15:00.000-05:00

I've made so many personal achievements in the past month & worked really hard to stay afloat & grow...

On the dating level, right now I've made a decision to take a break from the dating world. I really can't afford to channel any energy towards thinking about anyone else.

Otherwise, more news coming up. Just need to make it through the next 5 days- then I get a week off of work!!

My school was evaluated this week...and other intimate life details

2008-02-02T02:59:00.000-05:00

We got a W.D. (if you're in education you know what that means).

We did well!! I had to give a presentation as part of the case study. Got up at 4am & missed my swimming just to work on preparing...It's been a stressful week at work, now I plan to work hard to get my students ready for the math test. After the Math test, I will slack off.

Lifewise...My period is a week early! That sort of things hardly happens to me. It's all the stress in my life, the fact that I'm in an intense athletic training phase probably brought this on...It's so strange that I have pimples yet I'm eating clean& sweating daily. Alas, stupid hormones...At least now I know why I've been on the verge of pouncing every athletic male I see this week...Also explains why I can't stop thinking about the lovely man but no longer existing man I met in the fall & having his babies. Dreams!

Today my mom & I had a beautiful conversation - talked about things from tattoos to sexual orientation & piercings. I love my mom & how I can talk to her about things.

I know I've been blessed with inner joy & strength & peace. I know I can deal with many things. Sometimes though I wonder why we are all dealt a different hand. Sometimes I wonder how the powers expect me to cope with everything when things just continue to get worse. Mostly I get upset lately at the fact that I don't have any support systems near me & on a daily basis & I really need that.

Distance is a bitch.

Happy weekend.

the kind of guys that make me drool...

2008-01-29T07:13:00.001-05:00

Athletic cute boys.

Like last nite while I was at my meeting at the fancy gym & said cute boy was holding my ankle in his hands to see what kinds of injuries I have. Damn...hot.

I'm procrastinating going to work. I really am not into my job. I want to be a fulltime athlete.

I don't like any of the boys in my life right now. Not romantically anyhow. What a shocker!!! I get annoyed so easily & right now nobody is in my good books. Oh- except the unnattainable boy who was analysing my ankle last nite!

How do I stay afloat?

2008-01-22T03:57:00.000-05:00

When all I need to do is to leave?

I'm so tired of the negative energy that surrounds me & need a change of scenery. Somehow Feb 18th seems so far away.

I went to see an awesome off broadway show with my friends yesterday- so inpiring! It's motivated me to get started on my show writing again & try to stage my show in the next year or two! Hooray. Well I have a little material, I just need to talk to my acting coach...

Will I make it?

Vancouver...

2008-01-16T23:16:00.000-05:00

So in exactly a month's time I'm flying to Vancouver for a week:):) I bought my plane ticket this morning.

The only thing that's certain in my life is that for the next 30 days I'm in Manhattan, beyond that, only time will tell. Otherwise I'm alright & trying to stay out of trouble.

Presently there are three boyz sort of in my life...
-there's my long lost summer love who's dying to see me for weeks, but excercise comes first in my book...

-there's my estranged fall love who's presently in a country far away & who is away for months & months

-there's the love I've loved for almost two years who has yet to explicitly state his intentions.

Meanwhile, there's a woman in training for a triathlon whose biological clock is ticking like mad...

24 hour services in NYC...

2008-01-14T03:30:00.000-05:00

It's 3:30 Am & I just mailed my sisters' college applications via overnight mail at the 24 hour post office. Hooray!!! I'm $130 broker than I was before, but hey- it's worth it!! I spent 4 hours today in the 24 hr fedexkinkos.

I love NYC & the accessibility of such things.

Now 2 hours of sleep...then...work.

I'm so distracted & a little hyper. I'm missing the passion of my december friend & I'm missing the warmth & stability of my out of state companion.

I'm so happy that I spent today helping my sister. I feel so whole. Like something in my life actually matters.

Much needed update!

2008-01-13T04:12:00.000-05:00

So I've been spending more time updating my other blog

But I'm still here.

Last night I dreamt about my future husband. In the dream he told me that even though I was ready to settle down, he wanted to work on enhancing his career for a few more years. Of course I took it all in stride just like I take everything else. Oh well.

Last week I met this beautiful Italian English man. He's so friggin seductive & he has baby fever. I need to stay away from him because my bio clock is in overdrive. Aside from kissing & a romantic encounter & massage, we didn't do "it". He's so tall & irresistable so my strategy is to stay away from him entirely!

I'm doing a little better. This is the most important week of my year starting today. There are 3 extremely important things that I need to take care of this week. I need a lot of divine intervention.

On an exciting note, I took part in the annual no pants subway ride yesterday! See more details here. Riding the subway in my underwear!!!!Along with 899 other people:) So much fun!! If I'm feeling crazy maybe I'll post a picture later!

I love Sunday mornings...So I'm going to get off the computer & be productive!

I teach at the best school...

2008-01-05T16:10:00.000-05:00

each teacher at my school will be getting a laptop for lesson planning & stuff. Obviously to be returned if you get fired or leave the job.

thoughts on dating...

2008-01-05T02:48:00.000-05:00

I've met some pretty darn amazing people. Exceptional in every sense of the word. But not yet the one for me. I've learned not to have preconceved notions of what my love looks like or his career & all. And always the good ones show up when you least expect it. Aint that that truth?

I'm as single as a whole. My maternal instinct is in overdrive- it's crazy- I never thought I'd ever reach this phase where I can physically imagine having a baby. I don't even think I'd mind the diapers!

The thing with me is that I'd like to have this physical closeness with someone I'm dating without going to the sex. Wanting to wait for a serious commitment. That's one huge thing I learned from this past year. I'm in need of the emotional commitment. I can take care of the physical parts on my own.

There is someone I've always liked & that I think I could settle down with should the relationship mature to that phase. I'm not one to stick around & wait so I'm trying to find subtle ways to discover if said dude be serious about me. I think said dude reads my blog.

Happy New Year to all!!!

2008-01-01T02:36:00.000-05:00

Best wishes for 2008 to all my loyal readers!!

Online community is just as important to me as real community. I have met many wonderful people through the world wide web, & for starters I would not have a job or live in the US were it not for the networking structures provided by the www. My blog is important to me as an outlet of expression. Reading other people's blogs really opens up my world & I learn so much from others. Thank you to all bloggers & readers!

After a wonderful NYE brunching in good company & walking around Manhattan, followed by a wonderful dinner in Forte Green, Brooklyn with good friends & a countdown house party, then a train ride with sketchy drunks, I come home to find my block barricaded. The cops refusing to let me walk into my building because someone shot a cop on the block. Yes, yes. Welcome to my hood where there is always drama, not only on a big day like NYE. Thankfully, I was finally let into my building. Phew. I get to sleep in my own bed.

This past year? Was very eventful. I met some amazing people & I'm grateful. I learned so much about myself.

To be honest though, I'm not where I want to be. 2008 is the year I'm planning to settle down. I'm planning some big things. I might not make it through the school year- the weight of the world is on my shoulders & I don't have the supports I need. It is the beginning of the year & I have tremendous hope about the life changes I am making & completing my triathlon. However, I know in order to make the changes I need, certain things may be lost.

Here's a new year!! No resolutions. Just living to make my dreams come true!!!

golden on a sick day

2007-12-18T08:55:00.000-05:00

I had to call out sick from work today. My first day out this year.

I can't breathe & my world seems topsy turvy. Been trying to fix things for a while & nothing is working & nothing is good enough for me.

I get bored so easily. Like people, then drop them for small reasons. But I refuse to settle is the thing. I'm a closet romantic. I want to be with someone who inspired the uninhibited me. The me that will want to break dance on the street & cook a gourmet meal for him...

bla bla bla.

I like this boy. He is definitely a man. He's amazing is all I can say. I always have thought that I was amazing & the next best thing since sliced bread. For the first time I think I've me someone who challenges that. That's a problem for the Leo-ness in me. The Leo-ness in me needs to know at all times that she is the hottest stuff in town. The Leo-ness in me needs a million compliments. Always.

Maybe I have impossible expectations. A likely truth.

I'm out sick. I so need to be pampered & loved today. Since there is nobody to do that I will mope around, shop & sleep & dream & write & email my muse-ette.

how to stay positive?

2007-12-17T09:46:00.000-05:00

I feel like screaming!!!!

I want to see my family. I want it to snow nice clean fluffy snow. I want to spend the day being a bum with my friends playing in the snow.

Instead I am blogging at work & refusing to do any work. What a silly child I can be sometimes.

My update & Robbie's inpirational lyrix....

2007-12-16T11:37:00.000-05:00

I haven't updated in over a month. Things are a tad bit better than they were the last time I posted. The students who stole my phone were found out & they had to pay $300 for my replacement phone. I have a sexy new phone now.

Thanksgiving was fabulous. One more week of work before Christmas vacation.

Hello Sir, remember me?
I'm the man you thought I'd never be
The boy who you reduced to tears
Lad called 'thingy' for six whole years.

Yes, that's right, my name's Bob
The one who landed the pop star's job
The one you told, look don't touch
The kid who wouldn't amount to much.

Well, I'm here and you're still there
With a fake sports car and receding hair.
Dodgy Farah trousers that you think are smart
Married to the woman who teaches art.

Married to the life, married to the school
I wanna sing and dance Sir; now who's the fool?
Sing and dance, you thought I was barmy
Settle down thingy, join the army.

And who are you to tell me this?
The dream I want I'll have to miss
Sir is God, he's been given the right
To structure lives overnight.

Now I know life's true path
Tanks and guns that'll be a laugh
No, not me I'm a mega civilian
I won't lead my life riding pillion.

But thanks for the advice and I'm sure it'll do
For the negative dickheads just like you.
As for now I've a different weapon
Stage and sceen is about to beckon.

And here I sit in first class
Bollocks Sir, kiss my arse...

It never rains...

2007-11-09T10:14:00.001-05:00

but it pours.

In case you read this and you're trying to reach me, I don't have my phone. It was stolen.

Everything has been going terribly during the past few weeks. I also don't have email access.

Oh well. At least I have a 3 day weekend!

The Halloween Parade...& hope...

2007-11-04T09:34:00.000-05:00

So last Wednesday night I went to the big Halloween Parade. It was unbelievably crowded & I couldnt find my friends! Luckily I found a good spot to see glimpes of the costume craziness, but the best view I got of the parade was when I took the train back home & watched the parade from the TV!!

It's been an interesting weekend...
Friday night I had this supposed date- he was 30 mins late and as a result I missed out on seeing on of my other friends who I could have hung out with that nice. He was late & bought a rose & was such a gentleman, but still he was late and he doesnt dress nicely so he & I cant be anything more. I might be able to forgive lateness, but I can't forgive lateness & bad dressing. I can't forgive someone who gets in the way of me seeing a good friend of mine-intentional or not. I guess I'm a cruel b**ch.

Get this- while I was waiting for my date on Friday nite, this gorgeous Canadian boy started to talk to me & flirt. But I kept looking over my shoulder in case my date was there! In retrospect I should have ditched my date & gone with Mr. Toronto. Honestly cute guys from Toronto aren't in my everyday life.

On Friday I watched my first 3D movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was fabulous- as you can imagine I was thrilled!

Last night Saturday, I went to the Museum & hung out with someone special. It was amazing!! We admired art, talked & talked and then we danced to 50's rock & roll!!!!! Can you imagine me dancing to 50's rock & roll! It was great. Then we went to this soul food restaurant & I had chicken & waffles for the first time! This is not good. I like him a lot. It's exciting & scary & I don't know if I can do this. I'm way too giddy. We didn't want to part...We haven't kissed yet, but I wanted to.

Otherwise, I haven't returned this other dude's calls in 3 weeks. He finally left a message saying "I guess our friendship is over". I feel terrible, but I can't settle for riff raff in my life. I'm worth more.

Last night I talked to an old friend on the phone. I realized I miss him a lot. Don't know if it's platonic or not.

I know, reading this you must be confused about my life. Focus on the part in quotations above. That's the most important & the most true...

Two month Countdown...

2007-11-01T03:22:00.000-04:00

I am challenging myself to achieve great things during the next two months.

First, I am challenging myself to achieve great things during the next 30 days. Lately time has meant nothing to me and I'd like to know what a productive 30 day period looks like.

I will post more later on regarding my intentions one step at a time.

Current update: I just registered for the triathlon!!! I am officially a triathlete-in-training!

The universe is connected...

2007-10-28T21:08:00.001-04:00

On days like like today when many things happen randomly but seem to be a sign for something bigger...

a) I decided to go back to training at the gym
b) My old trainer randomly called and left a message just to say hi (I haven't talked to him in 2 months)
c) My friend from work called to remind me to register for the triathlon.

The universe seems to be telling me "hang in there, you enjoy fitness, don't let it go!"

Today I watched two movies

"The Butterfuly Effect"

and

"50 First Dates"

Romantic & mushy. I hate dating. I want to fall in love. I like one guy right now & I think he likes me too, but he's leaving the country to go on vacation & I don't know if he's going to just forget about me...

Meanwhile I've been going on fun dates with this cool kid. He's 30 but so silly and super hyper. I don't like him like that and I just want to be friends. I can never kiss him or anything like that so there goes nothing.

Today I thought about this sweet boy who once told me that he dreamt about me almost every day. I wonder what happened to that boy.

Meanwhile, I'm still single!!! For now.

Halloween in NYC Part One

2007-10-28T15:02:00.000-04:00

Imagine trying to shop in Ricky's or Halloween Superstore in Union Square on a major Halloween party day. Yes. IMPOSSIBLE!!

I was an orange witch for Halloween last night. My friend & I went to this great house party in my building. It was great except I couldn't flirt or make out with anyone I wanted to because my friend was there. I hate that.

Then at 1am we decided to venture out to Avalon Night club. We ended up not going in because they'd hiked the admission cost. The best part of being on the subway last night was just how friendly New Yorkers were! Can you believe it- New Yorkers talking to each other about costumes and taking randome pictures of each other??!! It was an amazing sight. My friend was a ghost- quite scary with face painted white-he's black so it did look scary.

Part Two of this post will tell of my experiences at the Halloween Parade!

How to make a million by age 35???

2007-10-28T14:10:00.001-04:00

Any ideas?

That's my goal.

Money does buy happiness.

How to engage math students!!

2007-10-24T20:48:00.000-04:00

Today I went to a professional development about....

VIDEO GAMES THAT TEACH MATH!!!!!!!!

I'm so excited to use these with my students starting...tommorow!!!

Carving the pumpkin for a meal...

2007-10-24T20:28:00.000-04:00

I finally did it!!! I cooked my pumpkin! I made a pumpkin puree soup- yummy!!!

Apple picking 2006 and 2007!!

2007-10-20T05:08:00.000-04:00

Here is my posting from a year ago regarding my apple picking trip:

http://aphrikanyc.blogspot.com/2006/10/countrysides.html

Here is how this year's trip went:

This year I have an advisory so I was in charge of my students during the apple picking trip. The bus ride to Chester, NJ seemed to last a lifetime although it was only an hour. I have trouble sitting still and I sat near the front of the bus with my students and I while watching to see that nobody popped their head out of the window or stood up during the bus ride. Quite uneventful.

The weather was beautiful once we got to the farm and throughout the day I kept thinking- today is such a perfect day I want to tell someone I love all about my day. Sadly nobody in my life right now really cares about cute little details about my day. I wished I still lived at home so I could go home and tell my mom about how the students are fascinated by corn and farm animals and cow dung...I wished I could tell a lover about how this adorable student picked two apples from me from the tallest tree and got upset when I wouldn't accept the chips he offered me for lunch...

It was a perfect day. To show for it, I came home with 5 apples and a pumpkin. I'm thinking of cooking the pumpkin instead of carving it. Why waste food on a Halloween tradition? You know there are starving people out there. I know.

All about me...

2007-10-16T22:55:00.000-04:00

I've been feeling mediocre lately and that's not good enough for me.

Trying to make a change for more fabulous things...Otherwise I'm well.

Our whole school is going apple picking tommorow at a farm somewhere- good times!

Non romantic girls

2007-10-07T20:23:00.000-04:00

like me. I hate roses and chocolates. I like thoughtful gifts that let me know that you know me well. I hate gifts that will do for just any ole girl.

This boy is such a gentleman and he does all the right things, he's charming and romantic, he takes me out and dances with me, says beautiful things to me, but I have no feelings for him. I barely care about him as a person. He and I will probably never have a sexual r/ship and I told him so. He didn't respond too well. At least I know myself.

My heart is unavailable to the riff raff. How did I let you steal my heart.

Benefits of the second year of teaching!

2007-09-29T18:52:00.000-04:00

I'm doing well. Relatively speaking. Updates on my life:

As an educator: The second year at this school is going well! I constantly push the limits in terms of dressing ridiculously to work or acting like a rebel around my principal. It's fun! I can be myself and it's appreciated although sometimes annoying for my coworkers! The other week I had to give a presentation to the whole staff so I popped my collar, put on my sunglasses, and went to present! My principal called me "James Dean, Rebel without a cause". Once a rebel, always a rebel.

The second year around, the students respond better to me because I have earned their trust for a year. The new 6th Graders are adorable & I'm consistent and strict with them. I have one young student in my class who gets very sad every time the class ends. "Miss- Math is too short", she whines. I have 8th Graders who rave about how much fun they have in my Math class because they're learning so much! My students are learning so much this year. More than I've felt like they learned in previous years. I'm calm, but consistent. This is the first year I feel like a parental figure to my students. In the past I've felt like a peer at best. This is the first year of teaching that I've felt strongly that if I had to lose my job, I'd miss my students. This is the first year I can truthfully say that I'm glad I do what I do. Teach.

Next week is Spirit Week aka Dress up week at my school. Monday is Pajama Day...Will update you as the week progresses!

How am I doing?

2007-09-18T05:47:00.000-04:00

Work is fabulous!

I need to start training now. The hiatus is over...

I need to make doctor's appointments and catch up on all the sensible things I need to do.

I need to hog someone's printer and so all my errands...here goes!

In my Jewish opinion...

2007-09-13T06:45:00.000-04:00

It's great to have a four day weekend!

the first days of school at my school

2007-09-05T22:13:00.000-04:00

I teach at a 6-8 public school. On the first day of school, the only students arriving at 8:30 are the 6th graders with their parents. The 6th graders and their parents have breakfast with the teachers. After breakfast, the sixth graders and all the school's staff go into a classroom and play a game of "To tell the truth". The 6th Grade teachers then take the students to their homeroom for a day of fun and games and super early dismissal. The day is structured so that the new 6th graders do not meet any 7th or 8th graders on their first day of school. It's purposefully structured that way so that the new students don't feel intimidated in any way on their first day.

On the first day, the 7th Graders arrive at 10pm. The 7th Grade teachers collect their supplies and do a fun activity, and the kids have lunch and are dismissed at 2:30...

The 8th Graders arrive at 10:30 and they are dismissed at 1pm.

On the second day, the 8th Graders arrive at 8:30 Am. The 6th and 7th Graders arrive at 10pm. The whole school- all three grades play a silent game in the hallway. The 6th graders finally get to see the 8th graders- but everyone is silently playing the game as a school, so it's a safe way for them to meet the upperclassmen.

And bla bla bla...We do a bunch of community building activities. Regular schedule classes will begin in 2 weeks.

This is why I love my school. The focus on community. The thoughtfulness behind each bit of scheduling and event.

My daily mantra.

2007-09-05T01:18:00.000-04:00

Even when I fail I am perfect. Nothing and nobody is worth being angry over. A healthy body and a healthy mind make all this worthwhile. Through the ups and downs of life, I am in control of my emotions and nothing can break me. I am at peace with life. I show love and gentleness to those who matter to me and those who give love to me. I survive through positive energy and the knowledge of my purpose. I am worth everything – every dream, every penny, every sacrifice. The past educates me and the future propels me. I thrive in the present.

First day back...

2007-09-04T23:08:00.000-04:00

So wonderfully cheesy.

This year, my planning day is Monday and I can stay late and plan. All the other days of the week, I leave work at 4pm on the dot. No schoolwork comes home with me. EVER.

I love my school. I love my job.

This fall, I have lots of time on my hands to just chill. Winter and Spring will be the months that I teach and train and sleep very little. For now I'm just giving myself the time to be. To soak in the sunshine, run around the park if I want to, sleep if I want to, and fall in love with Manhattan all over again. Fall in like with Brooklyn all over again. Fall in tolerance with television all over again...

My favorite TV show is the 4400 on USA network! I want to rent the first season to watch- if anyone wants to get into this show and watch wit me- hollaaaaaa.

back to school insomnia...

2007-09-04T00:57:00.000-04:00

I'm getting home at midnight on the night before it's back to school! I love the adrenaline rush of staying out late on a school night!

My date this afternoon was phenomenal. All I can say is wow. And hold my breath. Again.

Tonight I went to this wonderful event filled with poetry, slam and jazz. I fell in love with jazz tonight. I read a poem I wrote this afternoon. The poem is about sex. It was beautiful. I guess I'm only getting 4 hours of sleep tonite...good nite!

The perfect weekend

2007-09-03T10:56:00.000-04:00

A four day weekend!! And it's been amazing- the best weekend of my summer, so I guess autumn begins with a bang for me! So far it's been:

midtownlunchdate, dinnerparty, biking,swimming, fashiondistrictshopping, dessertsleepover, beachbumming...

All so exciting!

Today has started off well with my morning run and laundry...

What is yet to come for today: mid afternoon date, poetry slammin'

Aint lyfe good y'all?

Visit www.triathletewannabe.blogspot.com

I am worth everything

2007-08-31T04:12:00.000-04:00

Five years ago, I remember making a poster that said "You are worth everything. Absolutely everything". I remember posting it on my bedroom wall and I would say that to myself every night and morning.

That was then. This is now.

Now I don't hesitate to do ANYTHING that will make me happy. The cost is worth it and worth me. Now I don't even have to tell myself I am worth everything because every single bit of me lives and breathes in that belief. Nowadays, the only thing I tell myself is "I will be a triathlete and spoken word artist and all round hotshot"

I started to ask myself-If I falter on a resolution, does it make me a failure? Hell no!!! The goal of my resolutions has been surpassed and each day I continue to live and show that this year is all about me. Resolutions or not, this has been a revolutionary year for me and continues to be with each passing second.

Not a sip of alcohol has passed my lips for 8 months.

You are in control of all your emotions. You are worth everything
Being worth everything to me, factors into all aspects of my life. It means that I don't question my own decisions because I know myself well and make the best choices for me. It means that I expect the best from people when it comes to me. You should swim through sharky oceans and climb rocky mountains to get to me. If you can't you fail the damn test. If nobody passes the test, I am happy with that. No compromises when it comes to the things that will make me happy. Nobody has the power to upset me, unless I let them. Which I won't, of course. I'm worth all the passionate promises and contemplative contradictions. You too should believe that about yourself. It sounds simple and cheesy, but not many people believe this fully.

My school has changed me. I work in an amazing community of people that are so thoughtful. Working here has made me realize that gentleness exists in the world. My mother always said it was a harsh world, but that people don't have to choose to be harsh. Working at my school has made me a more thoughtful person. I can meet someone and in 30 seconds, I can tell you whether or not that person is thoughtful or not. What does thoughtful mean? Don't get me started because it'll take me a day to explain. But only a minute to show you.

Go here for updates:
http://triathletewannabe.blogspot.com/

The perfect summer day...

2007-08-30T06:09:00.000-04:00

Was yesterday.

Waking up and running with my runbuddie. Getting dressed all P-phunkie for work. Randomly running into the hot hunk I was making eyes with on Monday night. Being late for work because I had to adjust my outfit. Seeing all my coworkers and having my style doted over. Realizing that I have two really good friends and work who share their non work lives in an honest way, and mine with them. Giving my opinions confidently in strong discussions. Productive work time in the classroom. Connecting with someone new and beautiful. Eating Indian dinner with my brotherfromanothermother. Getting a phone call from my cosmic friend just two seconds after mentioning his name to my brother. Sharing joyous stories and listening to scenic tales. Welcomingly accepting criticism and ideas about my writing. Immersing in the divinity of words at church. Crossing paths with acquaintances at midnite in Manhattan. Flawless weather.

I give gratitude.

Weekend options!!!!

2007-08-28T21:24:00.000-04:00

TAKE THE NEW SURVEYS AT THE BOTTOM AND RIGHT HAND SIDE OF THIS PAGE TO DECIDE HOW I SHOULD SPEND THIS LABOR DAY WEEKEND!!!

GUESS WHAT- I GET A 4 DAY WEEKEND FOR ROSH HASHANAH!!!!! Yay for my Jewish roots:)

Here are the results of the past surveys.
Question 1 asked:
Which would most make my day:
cotton candy, roses, a free massage or a date with Flavor Flav.

The truth is- of all those things what would make me most happy is "a bag of cotton candy".

A free massage for me???!!! Hell no- I don't like to be touched. You gotta be pretty damn special for me to let you massage me. Or do anything for that matter. You gross perv.

A date with Flav? Um- NOOOOOO...I like him only to laugh at. He's a pimp. Gross.

A bouquet of roses? I hate flowers. I love to give them to people I love though.

The really annoying this is that I have to be in the city until Saturday morning because of my morning cycling class...Alas, c'est la vie.

Have date with comedy boy Friday at lunch. Don't have clothes to wear:( Need to dress chic or Wall Street like.

My classroom looks fantastic. Back to work again tommorow. All the cheesiness of seeing all my coworkers again. Lovely.

My room is immaculately clean and so is my classroom. I've been so opinionated and anal about everything lately.

I love watching House. The guy is such a jerk in an admirable way. He reminds me of how I am sometimes. People make others into jerks.

I miss my family. Today I was wondering if they are disapointed that I'm focusing on doing this triathlon. They so want me to be the religious virgin daughter marrying a Christian man. Just that thought makes me nauseous. Perhaps I need to change for them.

Do you ever get tired of being the sanest person you know?

You know I get to know myself so much more every year and every day. It's a beautiful thing. There are things that I know I will never do and things that I know will never make me happy. They say never say never - but for some things I can honestly say never. I will always strive to be the best me I can be and never change my positive self and essence for anyone in the name of love or hate. Woohoooo cheesiness:):)

More random thoughts tommorow.

pick up lines that picked me up...

2007-08-27T23:48:00.000-04:00

At MoMA the other week when it was raining and my friends and I were admiring the ohsoeasytounderstand comtemporary art...The security guard comes up to me and said,

"Did you come to stop the rain. Because your smile is so radiant"

Wow- that line just blew me away. I love to smile.

Tonite walking home from church. This guy is riding his bike and keeps staring back at me, then he slows down and rides next to me. Fucking creepy. Anyway, he says

"Do you go jogging? Coz damn you look mighty fit"

That was the most beautiful thing anyone said to me today. It made me smile.

back to blog! back to school!

2007-08-27T13:51:00.000-04:00

I miss my blog already! I'ma be bloggin away as usual. Too lazy to write in real journal...

I went back to work today for two hours! I love my new roommate teacher. At my school we gotta share classrooms. I got to see some of my coworkers. My school is so loving and like a family to me so I feel like I'm back home after two months of being away from them. I did teach summer school with a couple of teachers so I wasn't completely away for the whole summer. I love my school. Anyway, today was mostly just decoration and stuff.

I'm performing a piece tonight called
"Everything I know about love I learned from watching soap operas"!!! It's a pretty awesome piece of prose. Wish I could share it on here- but you gotta come watch me in order to hear it:)

Yesterday I almost deleted my blog but I didn't. My blog is the only space in the world that I'm allowed to not be emotionless. Otherwise, I intend to have fun during the fall being an emotionless heartbreaker. ha ha ha. ho ho ho. Good timez:) Just kidding!! You hope.

I'm so f-in nervous about tonite and I might chicken out. Must calm down and do some memorizing...or at least try.

All I want for Christmas

2007-08-25T16:35:00.000-04:00

That ladies & gentlemen is the title of my new favorite movie! So cheesy and romantic- maybe I'm changing, but watching that made me smile and feel so good like I don't remember ever feeling that good.

Things are pretty good and only getting better.

Had first date with Chemy boy last night. He's fabulous and all, but I don't like him romantically. I can't imagine ever kissing him and I will squeal if he ever tries to hold my hand or anything. I already know he likes me (i'm awesome). Now I need to figure out how to push him away gently. Ugh. I hate boys. Most of them. Why do I do this? The thing is this Chemy boy is great, but I don't like him. I don't like most boys like that. There are only three boys that I've truly liked romantically in my whole life. And of those three, only one that I liked to kiss. And of those three, only one and a half who I could picture being in love with.

I tried to tell myself to give Chemy boy a chance. But why should I? You wonder what's wrong with him? He's intellectual- he loves modern art- he's a scientist, he's slightly-above-average in terms of thoughtfulness- he loves my poetry-he listens to me so attentively-he's not an ogre. What could be wrong you ask??

I deserve better than slightly-above-average-thoughtful. I deserve the best- traffic-stopping thoughtfulness. He's not at the same wavelength as me. It's hard to explain what I mean, but he thinks on a different plane. Not too different. But hey- I always look for any excuse to push people away. That and I'm not physically attracted to him. At all. Negative one on my 1-10 scale.

My room is perfectly neat and clean and rearranged a little. I love it! I can finally breathe and be productive. I need to keep it like this all the time because for me life stops when I have disorder in my room. Phew. This feels grand!

All dressed up. My friend is coming to see me in a few minutes. He's real fantastic. He's very rennaissance - he's a teacher, soccer coach and script writier and director, and he speaks my native language. All very hottt combinations. He lives in DC and I haven't seen him since October. Speaking of brothers and good peeps- my roommate is back!!!! So exciting!!!! I missed his stable prescence and friendship! Hooray for good people! I'm trying to be more accepting a patient of people in general though. Life is good- why not share without too much judgement? Easier said.

I need a vacation. I'm going to look through my calendar and start pretending to plan. Coz y'all know I can't afford any type of vacation until my triathlon training is over...i.e. August 1st 27th 2008 is when I go on vacation for a month. Where to? I dunno. I've been having Parisian dreams lately. I need to spend a year in Paris before I'm 50 yrs old. Also thinking of London. Non-alcohlic bar crawls with all my high school friends who are livin' it up in the land of the queen...

Tto: miss you too much! I wish you could be there for my first slam! I so need your creative input on this...

Too lazy to write in my real journal. Forgive the overshares like this one: http://aphrikanyc.blogspot.com/2007/08/twenty-six-things-you-need-to-know.html y'all!

My head hurts:( I'm hypoglycemic.

I'm going to take some time of this blog. I'll still be blogging on my triathlon blog: http://www.triathletewannabe.blogspot.com/

I need to spend more time writing in my hand-written journal as opposed to this blog. I'll be back.

Productive or not?

2007-08-24T04:19:00.000-04:00

This week I've accomplished the following

I have my swim and bike coaches all lined up. I have my running partner. I've checked out the space for my bootcamp class and talked to the owner about future business ventures. Now I just have to advertise and get my clients. I guess it's been productive.

I've figured out my new excercise routine. and I can't wait to start it.

I'll be slamming twice next week-HOPEFULLY and I'm nervous as hell. I might postpone it though:( When I slam its gotta be perfect...

Why don't I feel productive? Because I haven't been writing as much as I should. I still need to clean my room...For me cleaning my room is a sensual and cleansing process. I can't just clean at the drop of a hat. I know the right moment is nigh...

Yesterday I hung out with one of the most amazing people I've ever met. He's an educator, actor, ex Broadway. He's charming, goofy, rennaissance and inspires me SOOOOO much. All I can say is wow! He teaches 3rd grade and has produced musicals with his 3rd grade students! He teaches them Shakespeare and he intends to teach them middle school math while they're in 3rd grade. I'm so amazed and excited that people like this exist. Of course this is not an NYC public school teacher. They stifle us here. I've met some awesome teachers in NYC, but somehow some of their spirit has died in the process of trying to be good disciplinarians. They're not relaxed and goofy. Live a little won't you?? Smile a little won't you??? I am thrilled that people like him exist. I feel like he's my twin- only twenty years older, male and white! I'm so friggin inspired. I mean a lot of people dream of doing this and that, but most don't get off their butts and do it.

When my room is messie I can barely function. My room has been messy this week.

This year for me is about going back to the very essence of me. Constantly making decisions that are true to me and what I believe in. Focusing my energies in the right places. A light bulb just went off in me to remind me of that. I'm letting go of any crap. I feel good and grand. Moving on to smiles and thoughtful folks and me.

This weekend is writing, reading, cycling, swimming, bootcamp, advertising, strength training. Maybe I'll add relaxing to that schedule! Happy weekend y'all.

Twenty six things you need to know about me

2007-08-22T03:24:00.000-04:00

1. I feel my best when I wake up at 3am. (I've learned to let others sleep on and just do my thing quietly:) (I used to wake up at 3am to do my homework or catch up on my Physics when I was in high school) (Now, I wake up this early 4 times a month)

2. I always define the most unsurmountable goals for myself and I achieve them. I've always been that way.

3. I hate dentists. I need someone to take me to my appointments, but since nobody will, I just don't go. (I'm not as independent as y'all thought)

4. I don't mind doctors as much. I like getting my yearly physical exams.

5. I like to stay up all night and talk and hang out. I don't need sleep. (during first year of college my buddy and I would stay up and walk around chanting that sleep was a waste of time) ( I sleep more now. sometimes)

6. Until I was 21 I had always dreamed of becoming a single parent and naming my child Pinnochio. Now I would like to share that joy and responsibility with someone.

7. I'm a natural born giver, but I have learned only to give sparingly!! Or to those who I know care. I learned to do that because a lot of people don't appreciate or try to take advantage of givers.

8. I looove to read and just get lost in a book for hours.

9. I'm an artiste.

10. I still need to take my road test- I just never scheduled it. I'm ashamed of this fact:(

11. I am learning to ride a bike properly at age 26.

12. I am learning to swim properly at age 26.

13. When I was young I could not jump rope. At age 25, I finally figured it out.

14. I pretend not to care.

15. I hardly ever cry. Those useless drops of water from the eyes- who needs them? I don't.

16. I've been a breadwinner since I was 18. Sometimes I wonder who will buy my bread when the dough gets tough.

17. My family bought six loaves of bread every day when I was growing up.

18. Even now, I still suffer from the starving African child syndrome. I hate to leave my plate empty. I buy a week's worth of groceries and the yummiest food I finish on Day 1.

19. I am very good at sharing. Everything.

20. I don't care for academics. Even though I'm a teacher. I believe in learning and teaching life skills. (At 16 I stopped caring about my grades & academics. At 26, now I care about learning)

21. I learned to love myself at a very young age and in the cruelest of ways. So don't you EVER make fun of the things that feed my soul or the ways in which I self motivate. (eg. Sending myself an email to tell myself "I love you" or "You're beautiful")

22. I hate receiving massages. I love to give massages.

23. I dream and despise like my baba. I love and give like my mama.

24. I have a 24 hour policy for my friends. Call me anytime if you need to talk. Sometime's life's tragedies aren't hospitalworthy and sometimes we all need an ear at what they call an ungodly hour.

25. I believe in love as this pure thing. That love don't curse or scream or cling. That love gives and dreams and surprises and plays and knows when to hold, when to let go.

26. I will never change the essence of me for anyone or let anyone or anything break my spirit.

I'm flying!!!

2007-08-21T21:34:00.000-04:00

Wow- these past days- my head has been held up really high and there has been this awesome bounce in my step and a super confidence which is elating. Wow!!! It feels grand. I've had a ton of energy this past year in general, but it seems to be escalating each day. I'm not complaining!

I have fabulous energy! It doesn't mean that everything in my life is hunky dory. It just means that I feel fabulous and beautiful and energetic and ready to conquer everything. Much love and positive vibes to y'all.

How am I doing?

2007-08-21T17:12:00.000-04:00

Really, don't ask. I am feeling things I don't like to feel. I am not one to talk about my feelings or let myself feel. The good thing is that I've been open lately. I have been writing in my journal everywhere I go and it's fun & I feel better. These past two days I've been dressing chic and walking like I'm on air and like nobody else matters...

OH OH OH OH!!!!!
Last night I went out to my regular spoken word event. Looking hoootttt as usual. Anyway- This awesome artist hit on me!!!! He has a show tommorow night and I can't wait to see him perform!!!! Yay for hot boyz!!

and oh....I'm slamming twice next week. If you live in the city you so have to come and hold my hand coz Ima be nervous as hell. I'm excited too though!

OH OH OH OH !!!!!
Answer the survey questions to the right of the page and at the bottom of the page...I'll post the correct answers next week:):)

Please click here to visit my Triathlon updates: http://www.triathletewannabe.blogspot.com/

I'm a boy, I don't watch mushy movies...

2007-08-20T17:09:00.000-04:00

I hate them, but lately they seem to be all I watch. Last night I watched Diary of a Mad Black Woman which I consider both comedy and utter mush. Gross. But honestly, I really liked that movie because I could relate to the themes. The other day I watched some Audrey Hepburn film, then I watched something else- don't remember the title.

Yesterday I was grocery shopping and this woman said to me "excuse me sir..." And then she took another look at me and said "Oh, sorry, I mean...m'am". Then I said to her "Oh, don't feel bad, for me it's a compliment that you called me sir" Then she laughed. But I meant it. Although I can't believe I said it!!!!

I know I'm a woman and love being that. I just love the idea of androgyny and I felt flattered that for even a split second my looks confused this woman. I dress pretty girly in the past 3 years. I even wear dresses and skirts but only if they are quite short. I do have some standards, you know.

I'm sorry for the things I said and my nonchalant attitude towards your pain. But again that explains why things are as they are and will always be that way.

Feeling very emotional today. I'm not used to feeling this way so I don't quite know how to deal. Except by screaming. Ok, no. I have these dumb classes every day this week and today I could not stay up during the class...Boring sh*t. But at the same time the classes are so productive. I might have to resort to a Redbull or two if it doesnt get better.

Dear Self,
I am so proud of you for going cycling TWICE this weekend, going swimming, going to bootcamp class yesterday, and going jogging this morning. I also love the new rearrangements you are making to your room. And...I like the fact that you are being more open with people and a little more accepting. And...I like the fact that you've scheduled to go to spoken word events twice a week this fall. Go, you!!!!!!
Love, self.

PLEASE TAKE MY SURVEYS AT THE BOTTOM & TOP RIGHT OF THIS PAGE

2007-08-16T10:39:00.001-04:00

thank you...

I have not deleted my old posts. Search under Blog Archive on the right.

Here is the link to my triathlon journey site. I'll be updating that site almost everyday. I'll still be here sometimes. Click below:

Aphrikan's 11 month month journey to NYC Tri '08

Gettin back on track with apples and oatmeal!

2007-08-16T09:20:00.000-04:00

And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong after the Boys of Summer have gone

I'm starting my blog towards training for the triathlon. I will post the link later today.

Tough times

2007-08-15T16:34:00.000-04:00

I'm having a very hard week. I need to refocus and evaluate what I want out of my life and carpe the diem.

Feeling Fabulous!!!

2007-08-14T11:29:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I took a day off excercise (I've been doing this once or twice a week and it's a great thing!!!). Anyway, I went to Monday open mic night that I love so much and it was GREAT as usual. I really need to go every Monday night because it feeds my soul in a satiating way. I love being around poets and artists and writers who are willing to share, applause and just be wonderfully honest and positive. I feel so at home in that environment. I really need to start slamming.

I have a crush on a boy who's a poet, but we've only spoken once. He writes so articulately and beautifully and I'm wondering if he would like me. My goal is to get his attention by being a fabulous performance poet myself. I'm not drinking this year, but last night I discovered they have pineapple juice!!! I ordered pineapple juice and it had two cherries at the bottom and it's only $2!!!!!! I can't wait until next Monday night. I need to work on writing pieces I can slam. If I start slammin, y'all best come n watch me roc da mic!

Speaking of boys, I've let go of the old ones- hooray for moving on to more positive things! (Don't worry- I'm still singly me for now anyway) There is a new boy who I gel so well with and it's oh so exciting!!! He's a Chemical Engineer and I don't know if I like him like that yet, but we click well and he thinks the fact that Ima do a triathlon is sexy!!! As opposed to other loser boy who thinks I should drop the triathlon and settle down and get married. Loser. Yay for Chemy boy- that plus he's smart, I mean what Chemist isn't smart. Ok, ok. I really just want to be friends with him but as usual, you know how boys are, they always think otherwise- I hate that. I haven't told anyone about Chemy boy yet- except y'all hear on blogger....So feel lucky and special:)

Today I feel so friggin high!! I woke up with so much energy and then I bought a Redbull just to feed that energy even more and now I feel like I can fly- literally- it's crazy! I can't wait for boxing class tonite- I'm so gonna kick ass!!!
I can't wait to run and run and run, then cycle...Life is so friggin good sometimes.

On a sadder note, I haven't talked to my family in a while. It's hard for me to talk to them sometimes. They panic if I don't call for a month and it's been a month. My mom emailed and left a voicemail message for me. I love them, but being the breadwinner sometimes drains my soul. I just want to be a child again.

Today I smile when I think of...

2007-08-13T09:41:00.001-04:00

My best friend- Shoutout to Swaziland!!!! I love you and miss you soooo much!!!!!!!!!

NYC triathlon 2008- I'm so gonna rock that baby!!!! Y'all better come and watch me!

D- my new friend- you seem so interesting! I look forward to discussing more Chemistry and geeky science with you!

My sister-can't believe in a year you might be here in da big apple wit me!!!

Indian food- I love you and can't wait to eat you cheaply soon!

Not ever having to work again...hmmmmm...that's not gonna happen anytime soon, But I can dream! Wait! I'm not working right now!

Good surprises- I miss surprising people and having people surprise me. Is NYC getting too boring for me or what...

I hate when people aren't brutally honest about their emotions. It makes me ill. But then again I'm not one to talk.

Are you an imposter? Will you catch me when I fall?? Cause I'll catch you when you fall...

Reclaiming Me...

2007-08-09T05:55:00.000-04:00

After two days of CRAP. I am relcaiming the things that are important to me.

-being organized: I'm planning out my dayz to the T.
-Meeting new people: Exactly why I miss my training job- I love meeting people
-being singly me. I've been singly me for a while now, but I need to reclaim and enjoy that fully.

I saw a trapped rat in the kitchen the morning. I'm going to scream...This means that I have to eat out from now on- with what money? help!!!

Learning how to be a better person...

2007-08-03T06:54:00.001-04:00

I always thought I was an extremely thoughtful person, but I actually have things I need to work on. That's good to know though:)

This weekend is:

modernartreadingdancingdreamingeatingcyclingbuffingup

Do YOU have any fitness and health questions?

2007-08-01T11:00:00.000-04:00

Email any such questions to me at:

phabphitness@gmail.com

I'll gladly answer. Soon I'll start up a blog specifically to answer fitness questions.

Look forward to hearing from y'all,

aphrikan

Doubts...

2007-07-31T00:18:00.000-04:00

I've never been so unsure of anything before...but the idea of completing a triathlon all of a sudden seemed overwhelming...

My sister & I have been emailing back & forth about boys, boys, boys! In general boys really annoy me. Or should I say men? There's you and I who have been playing dodgeball for 18 months. Why oh why? And I know you're afraid to say what you feel because you think you know how I feel. Now or never, lover. Then there's you, we've hung out all of two times and I haven't seen you in 3 months yet to your friends, I'm labeled your girlfriend. Um, this is not high school, fellow...Then there's you, designer, professional, oh so stylish, totally ripped body, but I'm not attracted to you & you're homophobic. That's not going to work at all. I'm an onmiloving being & my identity goes beyond gender & sexuality...find another conservative to date...

Then there's me and me alone. Singely loving me. I can do this!!! I will be a tri-athlete. I need some hand holding & encouragement....

This is me...

2007-07-29T15:05:00.000-04:00

This is me
Rarely rigid
Perpetual poser
Sustainingly smiling
Soulfully celebrating
Recurringly reflecting
Again, anew

Don't tell me that I'm not, that I can't, that I shouldn't
Don't tell me that I'm not, that I can't, that I shouldn't

Because the world is my oyster.

(aphrikan 7.27.07)

I'm 26 years old!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-07-29T07:47:00.000-04:00

I had a good birthday week:) Sunday brunch was nice & small & thankx y'all who came:)

On my actual birthday I got tons of good wishes from friends. I had to be at training all day and even though I had only known the people for 3 days at my Adobe training, they got me a cake and a card saying so many nice things about me. Wow- I was just so amazed to be surrounded by love & to have made friends so quickly:) I got an email from my family & my sister also, and that really made my day. This year I wasn't so homesick on my birthday.

In general, I need to figure out how I'm going to start working. Next week I have to go back to the gym. I'm both excited and sad. I am buying a bathing suit tommorow & I'll start swimming:) I will be starting cycling classes next week:):)Not spinning, really riding classes in the park. I'll be starting my acting classes in September & I'm psyced.

On Friday my friends & I went to the MoMA & Guge museums. The Shapes of Space exhibit is HOTTT stuff & I was dancing like crazy:):):) Hooray! lots of great photos!

August will be a fabulous month. I am greatful that I am in a really good place. Well, except for being so broke:(

I'm having a lot of fun this summer- I get bolder and awesommer by the day and happier by the day! Come join me y'all!!!

Aspiring Triathlete

2007-07-24T09:30:00.000-04:00

I'm flying & don't try to stop me.

I'm an educator, personal fitness trainer, artiste, athlete, rennaissance lover of life.

In twelve months I will have completed my first triathlon.

Aspiring Triathlete.

Single, sexy, spontaneous.

Do I measure me by what you think??? Absolutely Not!!!

2007-07-23T00:42:00.000-04:00

Firstly thanks to y'all for brunching it up with CWH n me. Sorry for the late notice peeps, better plannin next time. Much love for vegan cake and Christmas crackers! Love y'all muchly!

I'm looking forward to my actual birthday. Wait- except for the fact that I have to get my excercise in at 5:30am that day since I refuse to spend my birthday evening in a gym. Yes, I'll be 26 on the 26th!!!Only once in a lifetime- quite sweet, I must say. I'm missing my family madly:(

I'm totally obsessed with this song right now:

Absolutely Not by Deborah Cox (pronounced Debra- thanks pal for correcting me;))

Always waitin' for someone
To make me happy, pick me up
I realize that someone is me
What you call life, that ain't livin'
Bless the child that's got his own
It's my season, now I stand alone
Just thought that I would let you know
Some things you just can't control

Chorus:
Should I wear my hair in a ponytail?
Should I dress myself up in chanel?
Do I measure me by what you think?
Absolutely not, absolutely not
If I go to work in a mini-skirt
Am I givin' you the right to flirt?
I won't compromise my point of view
Absolutely not, absolutely not

Told myself I won't complain
But some things have got to change
Not gon' be a victim of
All your social push and shove
Right or wrong, you judge the same
My picture never fit your frame
What you thought, you'll never know
You can't see me with your mind closed

Repeat Chorus

Now I see, life means more to me
More than fancy clothes
More than you'll ever know
All the ugly words that I heard you say
Made me stronger everyday
Now I live my life for me

Repeat Chorus 3x

Oh, oohWoah, oh, oohAll my ladies sayOh, oohWoah, oh, oohAbsolutely not, absolutely notAll my ladies sayOh, oohWoah, oh, oohAll my ladies sayAbsolutely not, absolutely not

summer hues...

2007-07-20T08:10:00.000-04:00

I'm blue because...
i'm homesick, hungry, bored, broke, loveless, childless, focusless, fat...HELPPPPPPP

Not a single part of me wants to be in this country right now...

Birthday invitation!!!!

2007-07-17T16:09:00.000-04:00

Sunday 2:00pm

Date: July 22nd

Place- email for details!!

CWH & I are having our birthday brunch!!!!!

Love y'all!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holla for more details!

celebrities to sleep with...

2007-07-16T09:44:00.000-04:00

So I've been known to admit blazing hot attraction to the following- my coworkers can attest to hearing me get excited about some of these!!! Yes, yes, I know- inappropriate!!!!!

Madonna....her sense of style is impeccable

Boy George....I love androgyny... I know he's gay. But honestly- my gaydar has been known to be nonexsitent...

Angelina & Brad....together I'd do in a split second....I love power couples where both individuals in the relationship are attractive & successful...Maybe one day I'll be in a power couple??!!!

Now how about the list of real people I'd like to sleep with??? There are only three people on that list. And the list is sacred so I'll never tell you, doofus. Wait...first on the list is...................................................................................
......................................me!!!! Gotcha, pervs.

Back to seriousness. I know you're dying to hear how I'm doing?
1. My excercise is going fabulously & I'm flying
2. My house is clean so I'm happy
3. I'm starting to feel ansy because I don't have to work...I need structure. Someone help!
4. I'm really trying to stay out of trouble, but I can't garuantee it...It's a good thing I have some resolutions in place eh??!
5. I'm homesick...:(:(:(:( And I hate living in this country...Then again, no choice:(

Paraskevidekatriaphobia is...

2007-07-13T10:35:00.001-04:00

the fear of Friday the 13th! I've said my prayers & today is going to be a fabulous day!

I slept in today!! Just got up now at 10:30am !!!!!!!!!!!! Wow- I'm so proud of myself:) I can count the number of times I've slept in on two hands. I let myself rest:):)

This weekend is

fivecyclingclasses
walkinginthecity
modernartadmirations
reading
harrypotter
writing
insomnia
nostalgia
dancing
friendship
foodshopping
manhattan

The world is your oyster!!!

2007-07-11T18:05:00.000-04:00

CWH: hang in there twinnie!! I'm so psyched for our birthday brunchette!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

July 22nd!!!!!! Birthday brunch- y'all are invited- I'll email details soon:)

Just watching the Tour de France & the stats of different athletes is exciting. L. Armstrong has a resting heart rate between 32 and 34 bpm. How is that humanly possible...The average resting HR for a person is 70-80 bpm...

Tommorow morning I'll measure my resting HR as soon as I wake up & we can compare...

Oh, and it takes L. Armstrong 5 minutes to burn 100 calories...

One day I'll be ripped- just you wait and see. My body is 6 weeks from being bikini ready!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hold your breath world:)

I'm alive!! I'm no David Blaine...

2007-07-09T14:59:00.000-04:00

Ok...so...

I passed my exam!!!!! I am now Nationally Certified as a Personal Fitness Trainer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm in so much shock! I thank the Lord & my mentors & friends who've been so encouraging through my process so far!!! Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I start teaching summer school tommorow:( So my little vacation break is over:( It's hardly been a break, but I guess I must be thankful...I'm only teaching 6 hours a week so it's not terrible... Now I need to work on launching my business...

Holding my breath for 24 hours....

2007-07-08T15:15:00.000-04:00

Will I end up with my National certification as a personal trainer? Or will I end up with no certification. The most important thing is passing my exam tommorow, right?

Stay tuned for an update tommorow night...

vacation time and thoughts...

2007-07-05T19:56:00.000-04:00

I can barely move...I kicked my own butt at excercise yesterday...My butt hurts:( Feel good though. I havent felt like this in 6 months but I'll be fine in the morning...

I have been watching TV this weeks after 4 months of no TV!!! Today I just discovered that I get LOGO TV!!!!! Guess who's hooked now! Well so much for not studying. I need to get back on track. I study best when Star Wars is on. Strange but true.

I've been feeling so mushy lately. I'm not used to not having to work & I'm getting to gather my thoughts in positive but sometimes scary ways. Thinking about love & relationships and such. I attended my first wedding of a friend my age last month. It was my very first time to attend a lesbian weddign & the ceremony was absolutely gorgeous. I had fun & made a new friend too. I'm currently single & loving it for the most part. I have really good friends & some really sketchy friends too. I'm trying to eliminate the sketch factors though.

You know you realize that you'll always care about somehow, but that it can't be... A tough realization, but I'm learning to deal with it.

I'm doing well just feeling extremely lost without my family. It's hard because there are these moments when I feel I need a little guidance from a parent and there isn't one for me- at least not in a visible way. Lately I feel justified in anything crazy that I do because it's my way of staying sane...

Monday is my big test!!!!!!!! I'm so nervous...

How movies kill imagination...

2007-07-03T21:35:00.000-04:00

When I was a child I used read the time- from the Hardy Boys, Enid Blyton & Nancy Drew....

I just watched the Nancy Drew movie trainer & I feel ill...They RUINED the way I grew up imagining Nancy. In the movie she looks 9 years old and she talks like an annoying mean girl. Gross...I always imagined her more mature and like someone I would want to be like.

Die Hollywood, Die.

The New Half Year has arrived!!!!!!!

2007-07-01T04:14:00.001-04:00

School's out & I'm taking a month long break from personal training so July is somewhat of a really vacation for me! Hooray!

I have been living in NYC for exactly one year today! I'm grateful for the opportunity and taking time to reflect on my year.

More updates later...

My two week rebirth...

2007-06-15T21:16:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted in a while. I'm back to blogger!!!

So many things have been going on in my life. Averaging 4 hours of sleep a night for the past 3.5 months and working 14 hours a day. Is it worth it? It's been fun & exciting but I've had to make compromises that I'm not happy with. I've gained and lost at the same time. I've been running on empty. Now it's time to get back to the me that I dedicated to be this year. These next two weeks I'm spending getting out of some of the negative situations I'm in and cleaning up my system emotionally and physically.

As the academic year comes to a close, I'm reflecting on the beauty of the portfolio end of year process that my students are working on. I had my last 8th grade math class and the students presented their portfolios- it was MAGICAL...all the students sitting in a circle and the student presenting would go into the center and talk about their work process and growth & showcase their work throughout the year...It was such a quiet and calming class and it went beautifully...accentuated by the student who at the end of his presentation gave a little mini motivational speech to his students...
My schedule for next year is hopefully going to be just 3 classes to teach...

Things that I've kept up so far & I'm so proud of myself:
-I haven't eaten meat since before Dec 31st!!!!
-I haven't had any alcohol since before Dec 31st 2006!!!

Things that I've accomplished durign the past 6 months:
-I've begun my career as a personal fitness trainer while at the same time being a full time middle school teacher
-I have my CPR/AED cert
-Working on my Stretching certification
-I have an in-house certificate as a trainer
-On July 24th I'll be a fully and NATIONALLY licensed Personal trainer!!!

I've learned so much about me during the past 6 months. I'm re-evaluating where I'm at and here are the changes I'm pledging for myself regarding the second half of the year beginning July 1st:
-To be thoughtful about all I do & always ask myself- Is this a healthy decision? To frequently remind myself of why I love teaching and why I want to be a trainer.
-Return to eating meat. My health has not responded well to a meatless diet. This has been a hard decision for me to make, but I have to do it...
-To practice what I preach to my clients and not to make unhealthy compromises for myself
-To launch my private training business SUCCESSFULLY by the year's end
-To focus on my Education career through summer enrichment programs for Math teachers and completing licensure requirements with NYState and begin a Masters in NYC
-To plan realistically & stick to my schedules
-To spend less money and focus more on helping my family.
-To keep up my other interests- reading, writing, theatre and continue to grow in those.

Anyhow, the next two weeks for me are dedicated to purging some of the negative cycles and habits I've been in and getting ready to start anew on July 1st. My next post will be on July 1st. By then my school year will be over and I'll be on summer vacation and only working 6 hours a week or so of summer school!!!Life will be sweet & I'll be able to focus on meeee more...

"HOLD FAST TO DREAMZ
FOR IF DREAMZ DIE,
LIFE IS A BROKEN-WINGED BIRD
THAT CANNOT FLY

HOLD FAST TO DREAMZ
FOR WHEN DREAMZ GO
LIFE IS A BARREN FIELD
FROZEN WITH SNOW"

claustrophobia...

2007-05-24T23:33:00.000-04:00

My world just shrunk way too much today & it's overwhelming. Every hour of the day I kept running into people I know from past and recent present and people who are connected to me in many ways...

It's exciting for a second, then it overwhelms me and I just want to run away. I already know that we are all connected, but I dont like constant reminders of that fact, you know...I moved to NYC to get away from that small town feeling, & now it's catching up with me:(

I get to hang out with some good friends this weekend! I have three days off work!!! I wish I was heading out of town for the weekend, but alas, I'll be just chilling here in the Big Apple...

I'm trying to hard to stay out of trouble. I'm like one of those kids on the train who sell candy in order to stay out of trouble. Ooops, except I'm an adult...My crazy schedule minimizes the time I have to do irresponsible things...

GUESS WHAT!!! i JUMP ROPED FOR THIRTY MINUTES AS PART OF MY WORKOUT TODAY! i HAVE NEVER JUMP ROPED UNTIL TODAY...IT WAS FUNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY ME:):):):):):):)

24 hours until my weekend begins!!!!

a good teacher....

2007-05-24T08:56:00.000-04:00

not!

the students are silently working on a killer quiz on angles and polynomials while i update my blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is our class website- it's not great, but over the summer I'll be creating an AWESOME website for all my classes next year:):)

www.wsc7thgrademath.wikispaces.com

i love me!!! sometimes i love my job:)

The end is in sight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-05-24T05:14:00.000-04:00

By July 26th I will have my PT training national license!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I'll be able to stop working such crazy hours:) Last night I found out just how much flexibility the license will give me:) Wow- life is sweet:) Except the fact that I have to study like mad during the next month or so...

Oh- also I need someone to come with me to get my tattoo & new hairstyle on July 25th....pretty please?

I can't believe after 5 hours of sleep i feel so wide awake! I'm going to try to sleep for 0ne more hour though...:)

Long weekend coming up in 3...2...1...

2007-05-23T07:35:00.000-04:00

total body workout tommorow, Saturday & Monday- Hooray for consistency!! I need to take some killer classes this weekend to get rid of the tension & anger inside of me...

Now I'm off to work to teach my lovely students, then it's an hour of excercise & tutoring...then it's work, work, work...then it's 4 hours sleep, then the cycle repeats, until ......... FRIDAY 10pm:):):):

Thank God for angels.

bench presses...

2007-05-19T14:06:00.000-04:00

my chest hurts from doing bench presses yesterday...:(

Inspiration is...

2007-05-19T09:19:00.000-04:00

Hey you,Don't you give up, it's not so bad
There's still a chance for us
Hey you,Just be yourself, don't be so shy
There's reasons why it's hard

Keep it together, you'll make it alright
Our celebration is going on tonight
Poets and prophets would envy what we do
This could be good, hey you

Hey you,Open your heart, it's not so strange
You've got to change this time
Hey you, Remember this,
none of it's real Including the way you feel

Keep it together, we'll make it alright
Our celebration is going on tonight
Poets and prophets would envy what we do
This could be good, hey you

Save your soul, little sisterSave your soul, little brother

Hey you, save yourself
Don't rely on anyone else

First love yourself, then you can love someone else
If you can change someone else, then you have saved someone else
But you must first love youself, then you can love someone else
If you can change someone else, then you have saved someone else
But you must first

Hey you, They're on the fence, you've got a choice One day it will make sense
Hey you,First love yourself, or if you can't, Try to love someone else

Keep it together, we'll make it alright
Our celebration is going on tonight
Poets and prophets will envy what we do
This could be good, hey you

First love yourself, then you can love someone else
If you can change someone else, then you have saved someone else
But you must first love youself, then you can love someone else
If you can change someone else, then you have saved someone else But you must first...

1. Realizing that everything is only for now...Life may be scary, but it's only temporary...
2. Having two wonderful mentors in my life right now!!
3. Recognizing I have only 6 weeks until my summer vacation!!!
4. Trying to plan a trip home for the summer...
5. Realizing all my dreams!
6. Friends
7. Weekends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mid week...

2007-05-16T16:44:00.000-04:00

struggling to stay afloat...feeling so fat... and phat!

And no. I'm not pregnant, i just feel fat & my belly is HUGE...

SUNDAY NIGHTS SUCK

2007-05-13T22:20:00.000-04:00

I HATE SUNDAY NITES:(:(:(

I've cooked all my meals for the week:) I got to excercise this weekend:) My whole body aches- I'm suffering from DOMS...

My fave song from the musical today...

2007-05-12T22:15:00.000-04:00

There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.

There's a fine, fine line between love And a waste of time.

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,

But there's a fine, fine line between love And a waste of your time.

And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door And walk away...
Oh...

There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...

There's a fine, fine line between loveAnd a waste of time.

Broadway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-05-12T21:05:00.000-04:00

Today my friend & I went to watch Avenue Q on Broadwa! I love, love, love that musical. We got front row seat rush tickets!! I LOVE MANHATTAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love musicals and I adore the theatre & I hadn't gone since the fall...

Next show: Lion King!!!!!!! If you haven't seen it let me know & we can all go & then go to Madiba for dinner afterwards- talk about an African weekend!

Today was rockalicious. I'm dedicating my weekends to relaxing & socializing & my weeks to excercising & being a workaholic! Damn, you cannot wait to see me this summer;)

This past Thursday was the most important day of my school year. My college advisor came to visit my classroom & do some experiments with my students. I hadnt seen her in 5 years & for her to see me now as a teacher was just such an honorable moment for me. The students absolutely loved her class- she also brought a colleague along. The lesson was GREAT- the students made slime & silly putty & they were on cloud nine. So was I on cloud nine!! I'm thankful for that blessing of knowing such wonderful people & for having such great students!Um, mind you- I wouldnt call my sixth graders wonderful...

On Monday I'll be having the conversation with my principal about "next year"...wish me luck...I'm NOT nervous though.

All the actors in Avenue Q are HOTTTTT....damn....

I'm about to get hooked on the soundtrak:)

happy weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-05-11T23:06:00.000-04:00

It's Friday 10pm!!!! I feel GREATTTT

My nose is highly clogged up still though....

I have a relaxing weekend ahead! Excercise, friendship, sleep, sleep, sleep!!!

I want to go & watch Lion King, and Phantom of the Opera!!! Not this weekend, but soon...

self destruct 3...2...1...

2007-05-09T23:40:00.000-04:00

What have I been up to?????

Firstly I got my training certification!!! And...I'm taking the big exam for my national certification in July!!!! Then after that the world is mine to learn & earn & conqueur!

Can you believe I'm considering working with my old trainer as I try to buff up for the summer...I'm thinking about it...I mean I just dont want to be flirting with him right now because I'm just super vulnerable at the moment.

I'm in a self destruct mode & I need a lot of structure to get back on track. I'm homesick & haven't seen my family in 8 years, and lately it's been affecting the ways I deal with things. At least when I was in college I had that structure, & when my best friend was here, we always checked up on each other. Right now I just feel like I don't have parental figures in my life & of course there are people around & bla bla bla. Really none of this makes sense to you if you've never lived in a foreign land without your family.

I used to have a family, in a way, but now I don't.

I consider some of y'all family, but sometimes, you know...I want the kind of family that will stick with me even when I'm a b*tch. Which of late, I've been.

How is my sex life????????????? OK, I mean love life...I supposedly don't have a sex life in 2007;)

My head is saying let go, but my heart won't give way.

This weekend is a dancing weekend:) I'm getting back on track this weekend. I need help with getting through until 10pm on Friday night- then it's two days of BLISSS!!!!

Back to blogger!!!

2007-05-08T17:00:00.000-04:00

My space is sh*t. Frickin spammers.

Anyway,I'm back on my lovely blogspot & i'll be posting like before- hopefully every day...

Blog Hiatus!

2007-05-06T08:54:00.000-04:00

During the past two weeks I've been using my Myspace blog more & I sort of forgot about this blog! I'll be posting on here sometimes still.

I'm also starting a fitness blog & I'll post the link soon.

Hope y'all are well in cyberspace!

when will your time come?

2007-04-17T17:23:00.000-04:00

I've been quite upset about the VA shootings, just like the rest of the nation...

You never know when you will go, so show people you care every chance you can.

RIP.

New week...

2007-04-16T02:25:00.000-04:00

This weekend I was surrounded by gentleness from strangers who've become friends, and my faith in goodness is slightly restored.

It's amazing how many personal trainers eat lots of junk food and excercise poorly. I am still in shock about this. For this career, I'm defenitely one of those people who practices what I preach because I'm so passionate about it...I mean why do it if you don't believe in it? Someone made fun of me for eating grapefruit!!!! I thought it was funny, you know, but I spoke to him about it and he still doesn't get it. The trainer went on to comment on how slim I was and how I didn't need to lose weight. I don't eat healthy to stay slim. I feel ill when I eat unhealthy foods that are oily....dumbass...Either way I don't need to justify my food choices to you, although I will laugh when you die of a heart attack...Welcome to fast food America!

I need a lover who knows how to apologize and how to willingly give until they win me back...

Healthwise & sanity wise, I need diving intervention to make it until Sunday next week...alive...

summer count down!

2007-04-14T02:58:00.000-04:00

It's been a busy week- 4 hours of sleep at most and I don't really get a weekend. I'm busy and trying to figure out the best ways to get to where I want to go.

I'm tired of lip service and brokem promises and I'm trying to surround myself with positiveness and people who, aside from myself, remind me of my worth.

downtime & thoughts...

2007-04-08T19:12:00.000-04:00

The weekend has been way too intense. I need friendship or therapy just to process everything. Just some random thoughts...

I've been eating very well this weekend. Today I took a day off excercise because tommorow is bootcamp and my muscles need to relax...

I'm watching "an inconvenient truth" for the second time. It's not that exciting, but somehow I like the vice president's presentation...

I watched some wonderful films made in Zimbabwe at the AFF yesterday- absolutely amazing. Made me realize that I belong more in New York than I do back home.

I messed up this weekend on one thing. But it's time to get up and keep going! Life goes on...

Spring break...

2007-04-03T11:43:00.000-04:00

is full of friendship, fashion, no time to breathe and broken promises.

wandering soul?

2007-04-01T10:22:00.000-04:00

I can't seem to settle down in one place and it's really annoying.

I love New York, I want to quit teaching and just be a personal trainer and bum around the city, but I can't afford to do so:(

My dreams involve some other place that isn't New York and I hate that. I want to move to Canada for many reasons. Mostly I want the chance to be able to travel around the world while I'm young. I feel so stifled in the US, as much as it is the land of the free...

I want a job that I enjoy 100% and I've found it!!! After all these stupid years....But I need to be patient and wait...bla bla bla

I don't have a concrete plan for summer 2007 so I'm thinking of just hopping on a plane to the other side of the continent:) How exciting!!!

I keep asking the question- why do I keep running? What am I looking for?

The last time I felt wonderful was summer 2006...how do I capture that again or find it?

Holiday!

2007-03-31T10:42:00.000-04:00

The holiday is here!

I'm tired and just want a break from everything....

Hooray- 10 days off work!!!

I have only excercised twice this week. Bootcamp starts on Monday and I'll die because my body is not as conditioned as it used to be. Wish me luck...I also don't know if I am capable of waking up at 4:30 am three days a week! I'm crazy for signing up, but I'm just excited to try it out!!! Depending on how successful the three weeks are, I might stick with it until the summer!!!

one more day until vacation!!

2007-03-29T17:14:00.000-04:00

So our school got the best rating possible from this week's review. Wow! What a sigh of relief for everyone, especially the principal who has been working so damn hard....

I haven't adjusted to my schedule yet. The only thing that works so far is going home for an hour then setting off to work again at night. That way I feel rejuvenated. The routine has killed my workout. I've only been able to average 3- 4 workouts a week for 30 minutes each, instead of the my old routine of 60-120 minutes. My body misses the sweat...At least my job involves weight lifting so that's one positive thing. My arms are stronger...My six pack is miles away:( Hooray for bootcamp next week!

I just had to say goodbye and I hate saying good byes, especially to people that are role models or parent figures in my life. I'm so angry and it makes me not want to attach to anyone ever again.

I just need to make it through to 10 pm Friday night then I'll be on vacation!! Meanwhile I'm off to a 5 hour shift...